Those who think they belong nowhere are, in fact, members of the family of those who feel a sense of belonging toward nothing. They do belong somewhere; they simply do not know it yet.
To someone who states that they do not feel a sense of belonging, the following questions must be asked: Is this lack of belonging directed toward a specific thing, or toward nothing at all—and does your search still continue? There is more than one meaning embedded in the sentence “I do not feel I belong.” If a person does not feel a sense of belonging simply because they have not found any individual, community, idea, or place worthy of belonging to, yet their search continues, then what we have is a case of “failing to find one’s place.” Once they join a community that will benefit them or one to which they believe they can contribute, this anguish will most likely pass. Naturally, whether the person complains about this state or not is significant. However, if they say, “No matter where I look—no religion, no worldview, no community, not even my family… I do not see myself belonging to any of them,” and if they have brought their search to an end, the situation is entirely different. They are, in fact, a member of the family of those who belong nowhere, those who feel a sense of belonging toward nothing. They do belong somewhere; they simply do not know it yet. Or perhaps they do.
These two conditions are vastly different. While one, overcome by the pangs of hunger for belonging, searches for something to belong to, the other has questioned everything. Even while standing at the very beginning of a thing—though a stranger to it—they have foreseen its ultimate end and walked away, closing the chapter, abandoning all consolations, and retreating into themselves. They certainly did not do this out of mere pleasure. They simply differed from everyone else in that they refused to be made happy by cheap toys that fell into their hands. They did not close the day content with small consolations. Looking at those around them, at the crowds, at groups and communities, at ideas and their pioneers, they said, “This is not how it ought to be,” turned their back, and walked away. It happened this way every single time. For years, for an entire lifetime. This, my friend, is what happens to those who honor their intellect! This is the curse of knowing. Is it your fault that you could not manage to be happy with artificial gods? See what comes of it now… He who cannot satisfy his intellect cannot make his heart happy. There is no happiness left for you! Do you understand now why ignorance was bliss?
Lao Tzu: “Ordinary people are joyous and cheerful, as though celebrating a great festival. I alone am solitary and detached, like a newborn baby before it has learned to smile, a traveler without a destination.”
Ibrahim Adham: “The lonely wanderers are those whose hearts have turned cold toward this world and directed themselves solely toward Him. They belong neither to this world nor to those who reside in it.”
The Gospel (John 17:16): Just as I do not belong to the world, neither do they belong to the world.
This is precisely the state for whose sake elderly Sufis consumed years of their lives in solitary retreat (chillahānah). It is what Asian monks attained only after years of begging.
Yet it is not quite as dreadful as it seems… In fact, though you might scarcely believe it, it is a magnificent thing. This is precisely the state for whose sake elderly Sufis consumed years of their lives in solitary retreat (chillahānah). It is what Asian monks attained only after years of begging. It is the reward for hundreds of thousands of acts of worship and millions of chants (dhikr) performed by seekers across every religion to draw near to God. Feeling a sense of belonging toward nothing means finding nothing sufficient. Had you approved of it, you would have been there; you would have long since become a part of it. How can you ascend upward when your hands are bound to something below?
Let me tell you why you feel no sense of belonging to anything: everything you have seen—that is, everything toward which people feel a sense of belonging—simply failed to fill the vessel of your intellect, and that is why. You comprehended them, contained them within your vessel, yet they proved perpetually insufficient for you. Ah, that insatiable intellect of yours… It is all because of it. Yet this is neither your fault nor that of your intellect. If the Creator fashioned your intellect greedy and your vessel immense, what is anyone to do? There is only one remedy, my brother… Take both your vessel and your intellect, and go together to the ocean. Only He will fill your vessel to overflowing. He will never be captured. He will never be fully comprehended. Your vessel will always remain too small for Him, to the point that you will beg for your vessel to expand. Your vessel is made of clay; when wetted, it softens, and once softened, it takes shape anew and expands if necessary—have no fear. No matter what religion you belong to, or even if you are without religion, He is awaiting you. The One who created your vessel immense and your intellect hungry has already prepared what He will bestow.
